Anxieties

Just before Valentine's day I was feeling a lot of stress and anxiety over the whole adoption process. There's just tons of paperwork to fill out: agreements to sign, letters to write, applications to fill out, info to compile... it started to become overwhelming. Part of the problem is that for a long time I was doing all of the legwork, but not really taking the time to process the whole thing. Friday night Matt and I sat down and had a long discussion where I really had the opportunity to unearth all of my frustrations, concerns, and fears. I want to think that I'll be fine - that I won't get caught up in the emotion of the whole process, but I realized that night that its a big deal! Its emotional, its exciting, its scary! We're not just filling out forms to help a child out of a bad place, but we're actually bringing a new life into our family. It should be just as emotional as a pregnancy, if not more, since you have to wait longer and you're totally at the mercy of someone else's judgment about your capability of caring for a child. That time of processing was very healing for me, and I now feel ready to face the mountain of paperwork ahead :)