Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Done Reading!

Hello, it's Matt. Tonight, I'm celebrating a milestone in our adoption journey... we are officially done with the "study" part of the application process! It blows my mind.

Well, to be more accurate, it would blow my mind if there were any pieces left intact. The last few months of online training and book study have completely shattered the paradigm that I initially approached adoption with. Through our reading, we've gained amazing insight into the experiences of birthmothers, the challenges for internationally adopted children in assembling a strong multiracial identity, and the long process of defining and shaping concepts of adoption with adopted children as they grow. So much insight, in fact, that I'm have a hard time connecting those initial wonderous, excited feelings I had late last year to my new understanding of my role. In a word, I feel disoriented.

I am really looking forward to taking this month to get my head out of the books and let my heart catch back up with my mind. I am truly excited about a third child. I am truly excited about our family embracing diversity on such an intimate level. I am TRULY excited about doing something bold with the boundless love that Jesus is filling our home with! But it's hard to feel excited while poring over chapter after chapter of statistics and research findings. (I'm going to go out on a limb and assume I don't need to qualify that statement.)

So, while I'm extremely grateful for the gift of new wisdom and insight into the world of adoption, I am indescribably happy to put an end to this chapter and get back to imagining our own very personal, unique future that lies ahead as a family. Thank you for being part of it!